one batch has come and gone. pes c9 standard batch. and my room comp has died so like my personal records are just ugh. stagnating. vv frustrating. and suddenly feel so disconnected with the cybersocial world.
but yea anyway abt stuff so far... it's nice to see the ppl around u blossom. to start developing the ideals and virtues that u yourself uphold. it gives u smth to hold on to. an anchor of affirmation that u're not so lonely anymore in your moral quest. that the values u pursue aren't too impractical. that the world u resist against isn't so unyielding. lolz then again, the word 'blossom' becomes a very subjective adjective doesn't it?
bahh i don't have flow. floundering for words. hateZ. stutter forever. ugh why do i keep having these kinds of language block. so demeaning of a lawyer wannabe.
aiya forget it. move on. i've been reading neil gaiman. lolz powerful fantasy. wats that genre... magical realism? can't remember what they call it. but it is superior~ e effect he weaves is so... seriously. just magical. it's different from the captivating and enthralling quality of other fantasy series. i can't sink into its depths and just phase myself to his universes the way i can with other authors. but his works have a far longer lasting effect of wonder and appreciation of the magic that he weaves. considering collecting his entire sandman series. the 2 graphic novels that i have from him (neverwhere and stardust) are beautiful. prized collectionZ.
i compiled and softcopied the appraisals written by my recruits. i hope to do this for all the batches... then i can keep track of the changes in my commanding style and the opinions towards it. but then again appraisals aren't wholistic critiques. the criteria for judgment of a recruit is vastly different from the criteria for judgment of a fellow commander. still, there are those that give a lot of insight. but more importantly, there are those that rejuvenate and renew the vigor and vitality of command.
we are puppet masters of sorts. we use strings of fear, logic, respect and emotions. but i think we often forget that the puppets we control are very much human. the stick and the carrot methods. as if they are rabbits. i feel more frustration towards the commanders than the recruits most of the times. so tiring... to always having to go against the system. visionaries. martyred for being ahead of their time. laughZ. so glorified. sometimes i wonder if these things i do are just for the sake of being different. for being distinct. i guess it does contribute to my source of motivation, but as long i am aware of it and not let it become the sole/underlying factor, then it's ok i guess.
but haiz now once again, i'm poised at the edge of the pedastal. gotta make a decision. a conscious choice. before the next batch comes in. in being the mr nice guy, i show them that we do not have to submit to the system. just as my bmt pc did before me, i can prove to them that conformity is not the only option. but what abt their development of mental fortitude? to deal with their own emotional upheavals, regimental discomforts and mental stress. do we really need pain for there to be gain?
because we are in the business of developing people. we have direct control over the directions of these people's lives. the seeds of change are for us to plant...
Name: Foo Guo Zhong Melvyn
Age: 19+
Affiliations: MSHS (Pri), Rosyth, RI, RJC, SFX (LoG)
Bday: 14th Nov
Email: mel_protoss@hotmail.com
one batch has come and gone. pes c9 standard batch. and my room comp has died so like my personal records are just ugh. stagnating. vv frustrating. and suddenly feel so disconnected with the cybersocial world.
but yea anyway abt stuff so far... it's nice to see the ppl around u blossom. to start developing the ideals and virtues that u yourself uphold. it gives u smth to hold on to. an anchor of affirmation that u're not so lonely anymore in your moral quest. that the values u pursue aren't too impractical. that the world u resist against isn't so unyielding. lolz then again, the word 'blossom' becomes a very subjective adjective doesn't it?
bahh i don't have flow. floundering for words. hateZ. stutter forever. ugh why do i keep having these kinds of language block. so demeaning of a lawyer wannabe.
aiya forget it. move on. i've been reading neil gaiman. lolz powerful fantasy. wats that genre... magical realism? can't remember what they call it. but it is superior~ e effect he weaves is so... seriously. just magical. it's different from the captivating and enthralling quality of other fantasy series. i can't sink into its depths and just phase myself to his universes the way i can with other authors. but his works have a far longer lasting effect of wonder and appreciation of the magic that he weaves. considering collecting his entire sandman series. the 2 graphic novels that i have from him (neverwhere and stardust) are beautiful. prized collectionZ.
i compiled and softcopied the appraisals written by my recruits. i hope to do this for all the batches... then i can keep track of the changes in my commanding style and the opinions towards it. but then again appraisals aren't wholistic critiques. the criteria for judgment of a recruit is vastly different from the criteria for judgment of a fellow commander. still, there are those that give a lot of insight. but more importantly, there are those that rejuvenate and renew the vigor and vitality of command.
we are puppet masters of sorts. we use strings of fear, logic, respect and emotions. but i think we often forget that the puppets we control are very much human. the stick and the carrot methods. as if they are rabbits. i feel more frustration towards the commanders than the recruits most of the times. so tiring... to always having to go against the system. visionaries. martyred for being ahead of their time. laughZ. so glorified. sometimes i wonder if these things i do are just for the sake of being different. for being distinct. i guess it does contribute to my source of motivation, but as long i am aware of it and not let it become the sole/underlying factor, then it's ok i guess.
but haiz now once again, i'm poised at the edge of the pedastal. gotta make a decision. a conscious choice. before the next batch comes in. in being the mr nice guy, i show them that we do not have to submit to the system. just as my bmt pc did before me, i can prove to them that conformity is not the only option. but what abt their development of mental fortitude? to deal with their own emotional upheavals, regimental discomforts and mental stress. do we really need pain for there to be gain?
because we are in the business of developing people. we have direct control over the directions of these people's lives. the seeds of change are for us to plant...